SilvrSRT10
Super Moderator
And we need to get the other 14% where they belong.
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Joke of the day
- Thread starter RangerDanger
- Start date
Concealed 27
Full Access Member
Yeah a nice independent cell mate would change there views on some of our issues that our government is going thru...lol
Concealed 27
Concealed 27
Two social workers meet to discuss different strategies to keep young men from commiting crimes.
"You know..."one of them said"...I have a pretty simple tactic.
I take a sheet of paper, and draw two circles onto it.
A large one on the left half, a smaller one on the right.
Then I go to the teenager in question, point at the left circle and say, "look, this is your intelligence before prison." Then I point at the right circle and say, "and this is your intelligence after prison."
"I use a similar strategy" his colleague said.
"I draw the left circle a lot smaller than the right one, and then I go to the teenager and say, "look, this is your asshole before prison..."
Max
"You know..."one of them said"...I have a pretty simple tactic.
I take a sheet of paper, and draw two circles onto it.
A large one on the left half, a smaller one on the right.
Then I go to the teenager in question, point at the left circle and say, "look, this is your intelligence before prison." Then I point at the right circle and say, "and this is your intelligence after prison."
"I use a similar strategy" his colleague said.
"I draw the left circle a lot smaller than the right one, and then I go to the teenager and say, "look, this is your asshole before prison..."
Max
TheOl55
Full Access Member
Sensitivity training for men.
* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.
* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kelli.
* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 63. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
* The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.
* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kelli.
* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 63. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
* The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
Sgt. Rock
Full Access Member
During his golfing vacation at Martha’s Vinyard, President Obama had been slicing badly of the tee on every hole. He asked his Scottish caddy if he had noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replied:
"Aye, there's a piece of shyt on the end of yer driver."
The President picked up his driver and cleaned the club-face, at which point the caddy said ... “No, the other end.”
"Aye, there's a piece of shyt on the end of yer driver."
The President picked up his driver and cleaned the club-face, at which point the caddy said ... “No, the other end.”
oppo
Full Access Member
Smart caddy
TheOl55
Full Access Member
Smarter Midget!
TheOl55
Full Access Member
I'm getting on in years and probably not the best looking guy anymore.
Some would even say I'm a little frayed around the edges.
But, I have a truck, a a couple of bucks, and I spend most of my time casually
enjoying life.
I met a nice looking girl the other evening. There was an instant spark between us.
All of a sudden, she did this cute little dance, then immediately dropped to her
knees and then lay on the grass at my feet with her legs spread and twitching in
anticipation.
As we lay there making love, I thought . . . . .
"Wow, these Taser Guns are really worth the money!!!
Some would even say I'm a little frayed around the edges.
But, I have a truck, a a couple of bucks, and I spend most of my time casually
enjoying life.
I met a nice looking girl the other evening. There was an instant spark between us.
All of a sudden, she did this cute little dance, then immediately dropped to her
knees and then lay on the grass at my feet with her legs spread and twitching in
anticipation.
As we lay there making love, I thought . . . . .
"Wow, these Taser Guns are really worth the money!!!
TheOl55
Full Access Member
But you were thinking there for a second weren't you...
Sgt. Rock
Full Access Member
Two good ol' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even
Concealed 27
Full Access Member
Don't get mad, get EVEN!!! It's much more rewarding in my eyes.....
Concealed 27
Concealed 27
oppo
Full Access Member
Concealed 27
Full Access Member
Not gonna register to watch sorry... 
oppo
Full Access Member
Register? You shouldn't have to register. It is a public part of one of Shaggy's forums.
