Reminds me of a conversation with some shooting buddies comparing guns to women...
The M16 is like a prom queen. She's sexy, sleek, and everyone drools over her fit and finish. But she can also be high maintenance. If you don't attend to her, bath her, feed her well and lather her with expensive lotions, she will be a bitch when you need her most
The AK47 is like the town whore. She can be picked up by anyone, abused, treated like crap, fed cheap food and she just doesn't care. She can have a vagina full of sand and still take it like a champ.
The Steyr AUG is the hot foreign exchange student. She's exotic, sexy, expensive and her accent just drives you wild. You're a bit intimidated by the differences in culture, but just know that if you could get some trigger time, you would have a lot of fun figuring it all out.
The HK G3 is like a German farm girl. She's a bit chunky and larger than the others. But she is dependable and works harder. She also likes to be treated a little rough.
The M14 is the hot MILF that lives across the street.